I know you are, but what am I?

A full day at Disney World is physically exhausting, but if you're the mom of a baby it can also add the stress of "where can I nurse?" All of the Disney parks have a "baby care" area, where mom's can change diapers, feed babies and breastfeed in private. This is a great idea in theory. But in practice, these locations are usually at the entrance to the park, nowhere near where you're going to be should baby get hungry. And, I refuse to nurse in a bathroom stall, too yucky for words.

I just don't feel comfortable nursing in public. Grant is too active a baby to hide discretely beneath a nursing cover. He loves to pull it off and show off the fact that I am partially clothed. Although this may be Epcot, it's not really France and nip slips are generally frowned upon. And nothing screams "Hey, there is nudity going on here" like a nursing cover. But, I digress, back to the gist of the story, which could be called "public indecency 101" or "Baby needs to nurse." So I searched and found the perfect place to breastfeed at Disney World--the rides where the audience sits theater-style!

In some of these rides the audience wears 3D glasses and I promise you, no one is paying any attention to whatever is going on around them. It's perfect! The lights are low, no one is looking and I know I have about 16 minutes of privacy. The trick is sitting in the back of theater so you have empty seats beside you. A baby's feet sitting on the lap of your seatmate is only going to make your neighbor happy if your neighbor is a horny teen boy and you flash him some ta-ta during latch on.

Every park has at least one of these rides. Magic Kingdom: Carousel of Progress, Country Bear Jamboree, Mickey's Philharmagic, Monster's Inc. Laugh Floor. Disney Hollywood Studios: Voyage of the Little Mermaid, Muppet Vision 3D, Fantasmic, Epcot:. and Animal Kingdom: It's Tough to be a Bug. I've nursed in them all. It became a running joke between Scottie and me because he knew that as soon as the lights lowered, so did my bra.

Just call me Pee Wee Herman, I love getting X-rated in a darkened theater!